At some point, I felt a sensation in my chest near my heart. Like someone was stabbing me in the chest. This immediately raised my attention and I start creating “What if” thoughts:

• “What the hell is this..?”
• “This isn’t good…”
• “What if there is something wrong with my heart!?”

Immediately I got stuck in the anxiety program. I was checking (resisting) those weird sensations in my chest all day. Checking if they were still there. Because I gave it so much attention, the stabbing sensation got worse. I also started sweating. Because I read somewhere (on the internet…) that you get pain in your arms when having a heart attack, I started focusing on my arms too. In the end, I had all symptoms of a heart attack:

• Stabbing sensations in my chest;
• Sweating;
• Pain in my arms…

I was 100% convinced I would get a heart attack and drop dead! But nothing happened…
Because the stabbing feeling didn’t go away, I asked my doctor what to do.

My doctor gave me a heart rate monitor to measure my heartbeat for the next 24 hours. The results were examined by a cardiovascular specialist. There was nothing wrong with my heart. The sensations were really there and I really felt them. But only because I feared them, didn’t want them, and started resisting them.

In this case, the anxiety program stopped running after I got the results from the cardiovascular specialist.

“I’m checked by someone who knows everything about cardiovascular problems so my heart is ok”

What really happened was:

• My “What if” thoughts were debunked by the specialist. I trust the result 100%;
• Because my “What if” thoughts were debunked, there was no disaster scenario anymore;
• Because the disaster scenario was gone, I couldn’t give it attention;
• And lastly, because I didn’t give any attention to the disaster scenario I had no reason to resist the sensations in my chest.

The anxiety program stopped. I no longer had “What if..” thoughts and the sensations were gone because I didn’t focus on them anymore. I simply stopped thinking about it. 

But other people might not trust the results from the specialist:

• “What if the specialist missed something…?”
• “Is it really ok because I can still feel the sensation…”
• “What if I still get a heart attack…!?”

At that point, anxiety can take a nasty turn. Because when are you 100% certain that nothing is wrong? Does 100% certainty even exist?

25+ years of social anxiety

In literally every social situation my face turned red:

• During meetings;
• At the checkout in any store;
• In (large) groups of (un)known people;
• When giving presentations;
• In the train full of people;
• Etc.

Anything that had something to do with social interaction caused my face to turn red. But why did that keep happening? Because every time the anxiety program was running the same loop:

• “I hope I don’t get a red face, I’m embarrassed”
• “What will other people think of my red face..?”
• “Don’t get a red face, don’t get a red face, don’t…”
• “What if I get a red face in situation X….?”

I was resisting my red face! I didn’t want it, it had to go, I despised it, it embarrassed me. 

Panic attacks

I also suffered from panic attacks. I never had panic attacks in my life until a life-changing event happened. With every panic attack, the anxiety program started:

• “What if I get a panic attack while driving and cause an accident (I might die!)..”?
• “What if I get a panic attack while trying to sleep…”?
• “What if I lose control?

Yet again I was resisting the awful feelings that arise when you get a panic attack. Creating all kinds of disaster scenarios and trying to prevent having a panic attack. Do you see the pattern of the anxiety program?

• I can’t have weird sensations in my chest because I might get a heart attack and die!
• I can’t get a red face, what will other people think!?
• I can’t get a panic attack because I lose control over my body!

Resist, resist, and resist. Trying to prevent the disaster scenario from happening. Whatever your disaster scenario is, it can’t come true whatever it takes. You are resisting something from happening.

All my personal examples are different forms of anxiety. But they all have something in common. They all start with thinking in the same patterns. It doesn’t matter what YOUR anxiety is about, you are following the exact same pattern. The only difference is the subject. 

Without thinking, anxiety, panic and even depression can’t exist!

You’re thinking about what you think and feel. Emotions, thoughts and feelings are not positive or negative. You make them positive or negative by thinking about it. You can stop the anxiety program from running by challenging the disaster scenario or stopping the resistance. But in order to do this, you need to know how your mind works. Let’s find out and I’ll show you a great exersice you can use for your own anxiety: